New year.. Will it be the same old?

So much for keeping this thing up to date.. looks like I lasted a month lol.

Christmas, my son’s second birthday and new year have just been and gone. The kids enjoyed it and we managed to see the majority of our family. Christmas was spent at home then we visited my partners father in the afternoon to exchange gifts and be sociable. For my son’s birthday we travelled to the west midlands to go soft play and have a meal with my side of the family. It was lovely, was nice to see everyone together for the first time in a while. We returned home new years eve as we didn’t fancy sitting in a pub with two tired children. As such we had a quiet night sponsored by Baileys on ice.

My daughter is supposed to start back school today but luck would have it that she’s somehow contracted a sickness bug. Where from I’m not sure as I don’t think we’ve been in contact with anyone that has one! So she won’t be back till monday which is unfortunate for both us as I think she was excited to go back and I was looking forward to starting to make a dent on tidying away all the christmas mayhem.

This week is also my son’s taster sessions for starting nursery. As My daughter was sick, we couldn’t attend the first one but hoping he can make the one later today and tomorrow. If all goes well, he will be attending 3 mornings a week, 8-1. The place looks lovely and has a beautiful outdoor space but I have concerns based on a fellow mum’s experiences. We’ve decided to keep him there until we move at the moment. Least then once we have a new home, we can look at local options and assess whether we’re happy or not with his current setting. Who knew having kids could be so tricky?

With regards to new year resolutions.. I don’t really have any. I have some goals I guess. I would like to lose a bit of weight as I haven’t been feeling right for a while and any weight I do lose would help with the recovery time of any future surgeries that I hope are happening early this year. Now the kids are getting to a point where they have some independence from us as parents, I’d really like to maybe figure out what I’m gonna do with my life for once. Since the age of 19 I’ve kinda coasted along, bouncing from illness to illness with kids and generally feeling shit in between. I don’t want to be stuck on benefits for the rest of my life, so something’s gotta give. I’m guessing it will be something to do with PC’s.. Admin? IT? I do like the sound of accountancy but I’m not sure I have the aptitude for it. I don’t think I’ll ever touch web development again career wise, it just does not appeal at all now. Another thing I’d like to be this year is confident in myself, my family and my decisions. I’ve always been overly paranoid that I say or do things wrong. Last year was a prime example of how I beat myself up over things I think I’ve done, when in reality, people just aren’t always what you expect even when you think you know them.

Other then that.. Hopefully soon we find our new home. It may not be a forever home but I do hope it’s comfortable enough and suitable that we don’t have to move again for a while. This moving every few years is wearing us down and to be frank, we can’t afford it. It would be nice to make a dent in some of the debt we’ve accumulated but I’m not gonna stress myself stupid if it doesn’t happen.

Wow, that ended up being longer than I expected!  If anyone managed to read this without falling asleep or yawning, thanks! 😀



Patterns in life

Thinking back now, it’s funny when you see a pattern. Last September I joined a local group. In that group was a lady that was going through a lot. We all rallied around her to try and make her life as easy as we could. For whatever reason, she cut us all off quite suddenly. I didn’t take it well as I struggle getting to know people anyway.

Year or so later and shes back with a spoon in hand. It’s been nothing but a nightmare since. She’s again left with a big bang, this time accusing people of being negative and toxic in a group message before blocking everyone, namely myself as I stuck up for myself for once.

Oh well, you live and learn. Safe to say I wont fall into the pit again. I’m kinda glad it ended as it did as I can draw a line under it and be done.

Plans and reality

So originally this blog was supposed to be started on my 29th birthday, 9 months ago. For whatever reason, most probably laziness, it never happened. So here we are in October and I’m making an attempt to hopefully start this thing off!

This year so far has been such a mixed bag. The year started off pretty rubbish in all honesty. I was struggling with my mental health, stress and worry about my sons heart health, finances..It all got a bit much.

Somehow the year sort of improved. I can’t place where it happened but it did. For the first time in years since moving to Suffolk, I felt like I belonged. I had friends, I had a routine weekly that involved being an adult instead of “Mum” for a few hours. It felt good.

Now I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m struggling daily to even motivate myself to eat. I’m grumpy and I can see it’s effecting my kids. So my thinking is if I have a place to get all the things that are crowding my mind out and written down, I may be able to figure out myself why this vicious cycle keeps happening.

This blog is gonna be a bit random I suppose. Between rants and ramblings on anything from kids to wheels, I’ll probably touch on my sewing when I manage it. We are also hoping to get married in 2020, so a bit of planning and brainstorming may occur too. Just a bit of everything!